I was going through a missionary journal today to find information on someone's baptism. My wife picked up the journal and found this poem I wrote while serving a mission in the Ukraine in April 1993. I was 19 at the time.
The Final Tear
Long ago, I dreamed a dream
I thought I knew it all - it seemed.
The road had been too hard, too long.
And why my pains should I prolong?
"I'll leave this path of pain and fear,
and I will shed my final tear!"
The laws, the labor too much to bear
I left my friends, my home, and cares.
To travel down a different path
where life was good and I could laugh -
No rules or laws to bind me down,
And I rejoiced in what I'd "found".
Time passed and life, it spiraled on
With evenings' end and each new dawn.
But somehow midst the breaking day,
I found that on my cheek there lay
A tear for days gone by, long past;
The joys that I once knew now ash.
That floats upon the lofty breeze
Blown too and fro, where none can seize
The remnants in their battered fists,
Where all is lost in darkened mists.
And fear and anguish now reside
In that sad heart, due foolish pride.
But something broke upon my mind
I thought of Christ, His grace, so kind;
Who saved us all from death's cruel bands,
The marks, He bears them in His hands.
And sin as well He overcame
If we of Him be not ashamed.
And live our lives as He would do
To covenants be always true.
So change I did, my life, my soul.
And through His name I was made whole.
And then again, I shed a tear
For joy, for peace, for love so dear,
Which shone upon my broken heart
And bade me ne'er again depart.
And thought, I did, that tear the last
Which held the pain of times gone past.
But then I found the path of God
Was not so easy to be trod.
There were pains and trials throughout the course -
With tears I shed in my remorse.
But the Spirit guided me along
To shout in praise and joyous song.
On I lived and age set in.
I knew my time was wearing thin,
And I must soon leave earth so frail;
Return to life beyond the veil.
Where I could rest, my work complete
And greet my Savior at His feet.
Finished now, my earthly test
A tear welled up from in my breast.
Then trickled down my aged face,
Its weary passage left no trace.
And then I felt I'd weep no more
That tear for me great meaning bore.
Farewell to friends and past regret,
My time was nigh; the challenge met.
Then I was called by God's own will
To leave my body cold and still;
Rejoin the throngs in courts on high
Where none can sin and none can die.
So thus it was; and as I turned,
I saw a light so brightly burn
That noonday sun could not compare
To the grandeur then, that met my stare.
And on my face I fell to greet
The Christ, my King, and wash His feet.
His nail-pierced feet, my tears did bathe
My brother! Friend! and Lord, so brave.
Then calling me by name He spoke.
"I gave you all, let none revoke."
"For I've redeemed you from the Fall
What's mine is yours, yea, even all."
A silence filled the empty air
As moistened eyes then met His stare.
And gazed upon my Master, whole,
As His love and warmth embraced my soul.
And then I knew, I realized,
I'd never thought or e'en surmised
The many times I'd "cried my last"
So long ago - far in the past;
Were all for me, my pain and joy
Ne'er an one did I employ
For Christ, who conquered, Christ who won
Who brought me back and made me One.
And gave me all, as I now see
the endless possibilities.
And now I bow in reverence dear
And shed for HIM my final tear.
A simple, quiet, loving strain
For Him, who lives, for Him, who reigns!
The Final Tear
Long ago, I dreamed a dream
I thought I knew it all - it seemed.
The road had been too hard, too long.
And why my pains should I prolong?
"I'll leave this path of pain and fear,
and I will shed my final tear!"
The laws, the labor too much to bear
I left my friends, my home, and cares.
To travel down a different path
where life was good and I could laugh -
No rules or laws to bind me down,
And I rejoiced in what I'd "found".
Time passed and life, it spiraled on
With evenings' end and each new dawn.
But somehow midst the breaking day,
I found that on my cheek there lay
A tear for days gone by, long past;
The joys that I once knew now ash.
That floats upon the lofty breeze
Blown too and fro, where none can seize
The remnants in their battered fists,
Where all is lost in darkened mists.
And fear and anguish now reside
In that sad heart, due foolish pride.
But something broke upon my mind
I thought of Christ, His grace, so kind;
Who saved us all from death's cruel bands,
The marks, He bears them in His hands.
And sin as well He overcame
If we of Him be not ashamed.
And live our lives as He would do
To covenants be always true.
So change I did, my life, my soul.
And through His name I was made whole.
And then again, I shed a tear
For joy, for peace, for love so dear,
Which shone upon my broken heart
And bade me ne'er again depart.
And thought, I did, that tear the last
Which held the pain of times gone past.
But then I found the path of God
Was not so easy to be trod.
There were pains and trials throughout the course -
With tears I shed in my remorse.
But the Spirit guided me along
To shout in praise and joyous song.
On I lived and age set in.
I knew my time was wearing thin,
And I must soon leave earth so frail;
Return to life beyond the veil.
Where I could rest, my work complete
And greet my Savior at His feet.
Finished now, my earthly test
A tear welled up from in my breast.
Then trickled down my aged face,
Its weary passage left no trace.
And then I felt I'd weep no more
That tear for me great meaning bore.
Farewell to friends and past regret,
My time was nigh; the challenge met.
Then I was called by God's own will
To leave my body cold and still;
Rejoin the throngs in courts on high
Where none can sin and none can die.
So thus it was; and as I turned,
I saw a light so brightly burn
That noonday sun could not compare
To the grandeur then, that met my stare.
And on my face I fell to greet
The Christ, my King, and wash His feet.
His nail-pierced feet, my tears did bathe
My brother! Friend! and Lord, so brave.
Then calling me by name He spoke.
"I gave you all, let none revoke."
"For I've redeemed you from the Fall
What's mine is yours, yea, even all."
A silence filled the empty air
As moistened eyes then met His stare.
And gazed upon my Master, whole,
As His love and warmth embraced my soul.
And then I knew, I realized,
I'd never thought or e'en surmised
The many times I'd "cried my last"
So long ago - far in the past;
Were all for me, my pain and joy
Ne'er an one did I employ
For Christ, who conquered, Christ who won
Who brought me back and made me One.
And gave me all, as I now see
the endless possibilities.
And now I bow in reverence dear
And shed for HIM my final tear.
A simple, quiet, loving strain
For Him, who lives, for Him, who reigns!
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